Horror film, as we know it, is in a weird state right now. After a hundred years in existence, it’s old enough to have conventions a plenty but still young enough to be in a constant state of flux, which can be an exciting thing. Curiosity, adrenaline, hatred, evil, fear, these are all elements of the human condition that can possess us all. At this stage in the game, it is the perfect time for artists to play upon these elements, along with some of the traditional trappings of the genre, and then, with a little love and sweat, create something striking and new. SEE JANE RUN does none of the above, but still has some good things going for it. Read on.

The film begins with Joe “Soultaker” Estevez patting down an apparently fresh grave. He mutters a few words and then wanders around the woods for a minute or two, looking for something. That something soon finds him and beans him over the head with a shovel, 3 Stooges style, complete with goofy sound effect. If that wasn’t enough, he ends up getting his head split open, featuring some stunningly cheesy CGI. That said, the title sequence immediately following this is beautifully shot and has a fun country song to boot. If anything, the film gets points for utilizing country music instead of some generic ass nu-metal song, plus the cinematography throughout is terrific.

Everything starts off fairly standard. Four young adults, who are extremely mismatched but somehow in this universe, go on a road trip. We have the history buff and semi-blank slate James (John Rodriguez), his slutty, none-too-bright girlfriend Randi (Samantha Bianchini), obnoxious Neil (Kevin Haberer), and waifish, emotionally imbalanced Jane (Jennifer Clary). This is one of the first problems. This movie goes so out of its way to have the horror teen archetypes that it inverts on itself. Even in film reality, the four of them just do not work. James is only really interested in going to a historical landmark that no one else in the group cares about. Randi (nice pun by the way) is only interested in whining, ignoring her alleged friend Jane, and hitting on the Billy Ray Cyrus meets mid-90’s stoner-looking hitchhiker Tyler (Jeremy Steel). Neil is just an ass to everyone and has the balls to not even be funny. The titular Jane is mousy, quiet, and none too subtly crushing on James. The four of them pick up the aforementioned Tyler and drive him to the nearest auto repair shop, run by an appropriately creepy and sweaty mechanic named Jimmy (Jimmy Henry). Of course before Jimmy shows up, half of them act unnaturally. Tyler starts polishing a Mustang emblem and Neil picks at the license plates on the wall. All this despite the fact the place is clearly inhabited and, by all appearances, a freshly operating business. Would you just saunter into someone’s place of business and start futzing with their stuff?

When Jimmy tells Tyler that the part his car needs will take him a couple of hours to get, he also mentions to James that his cousin has a great BBQ joint conveniently on the way to the historical landmark he’s been aching to find. Randi sees an opportunity to snag Tyler along and the five of them head off to the landmark and BBQ joint. They all go to the landmark first and agree to take a group photo, if anything to appease James’ passive love for history. Night falls and the “BBQ Joint” Jimmy recommended ends up being a huge, brick house in the middle of Suburbia. Right before they are about to leave, they are greeted by Andrew (Sasha Andreev), the overly chipper BBQ enthusiast, cousin of Jimmy, and the owner of the upper-class abode. While some of the gang are understandably a little leery about eating at a complete stranger’s house, hunger wins over and they accept Andrew’s offer, even after he tells them to park the car in the back. Turns out, Jimmy’s BBQ is delicious and everyone, except for vegetarian Jane, raves about how delicious his meat is (sound familiar, anyone?). Neil goes to the bathroom and for some bizarre reason, puts his head in a cat flap door and gets a violent little surprise for his stupidity (ain’t Darwinism grand?).

Tyler tries calling Jimmy again about the part for his car, but Andrew suddenly remembers that his cousin had called him earlier and that the part won’t be ready till the morning. Conveniently, Andrew has plenty of room in his giant house, especially since his parents and little sister died at some point, courtesy of a drunk driver. Despite the fact that their friend still hasn’t come back from the bathroom, they accept Andrew's offer to stay. Meanwhile, Andrew takes a liking to Jane. He even shows her a giant medieval styled pseudo-stained glass mural featuring his dead family members and himself as the role of the knight. Jane just thinks Andrew is lonely and she seems to be more preoccupied with eternally clueless James. As soon as Jane stops talking to Tyler and walks off, Randi goes in for the kill. Randi and Tyler immediately start boning, leading to a boring sex scene that features that soft-core porn classic, the man who manages to have sex and keep his pants completely on. All that was missing was some cheesy saxophone music and Shannon Tweed as the killer. Of course, they both get a fireplace poker gouged into them, since everyone knows that if you have premarital sex in an unimaginative slasher flick, you will die. At this point, you don’t know who murdered them. Was it Jane, who is potentially unbalanced and blatantly infatuated with Randi’s beau? Or could it have been the frighteningly chipper and awkward Andrew?

SEE JANE RUN is a film that has some really good things going for it, but ultimately sinks under the weight of clichés and the lack of any real texture. The upside is that for being a low budget independent movie, it looks really, really good. Evans Brown cannot get enough praise for his beautiful work with the cinematography. The lighting is also pitch perfect and the use of country music is a nice touch. The ADR is a little off but not bad. Cast-wise, Andreev fares the best as the sadistic and good looking in a yuppiefied way Andrew. He brings a much-needed intensity to the film. The rest of the cast does well for how thin their roles truly are and Clary plays the emotion of being traumatized beautifully.

The major problem with this film is that it offers absolutely nothing new to the genre. Despite the scenes of gore, most of which are well executed, the whole piece feels cold. It’s almost like the filmmakers bought a “How to Make a Generic Horror Film” kit, added some inspiration from films like HOSTEL (2005), and then hoped to ride the new horror gravy train. Everything just feels incredibly antiseptic, especially given how the back cover art boasts it being reminiscent of classic 70’s horror films. The 70’s were a golden period that featured a number of amazing, gritty, and even disturbing movies. SEE JANE RUN possesses none of these qualities.

Another problem is that story-wise, the film would have benefited a whole lot from the “show don’t tell” policy. Instead of finding out via exposition and acting, they just have the killer spill everything to a tied up victim. Now if the killer is smart enough to get away with serial killing and cannibalism for a long time, wouldn’t the killer be smarter about telling all this to someone? (On how to do this right, see Bill Lustig’s MANIAC (1980), a film where you learn more about its killer via visuals and Joe Spinell’s fine acting.) While this is a technically well-made movie, it lacks the passion, heart, and knowledge needed to be a truly good horror film. There are certainly worse films out there, but SEE JANE RUN can only be recommended to horror movie completists.