THE LAST HORROR MOVIE
2003 – R rated edition reviewed (Unrated available) – 78 Minutes
D: Julian Richards
S: Kevin Howarth
DVD Provided by Arts Alliance America
Non-Anamorphic Widescreen/Dolby Digital 2.0
Extras: Deleted scenes, Featurette, Cast audition footage, Commentary, Trailers, Short film

Unsavory tale of charismatic psychopath Max (played to unnerving perfection by Howarth), a serial killer obsessed with documenting his violent escapades on video. This is presumably done in the hopes of understanding the human condition, the meaning of it all and the psychology of those who see the evil acts he commits. The way he shares his ‘project’ with people is by taping his personal exploits over some second-rate horror film he rented at the video store. After that, every renter is a potential new interview/victim. Needless to say, these never go well. Though we were sent the rated edition of the title there’s still an undeniable mean-streak which masterfully plays with the conscience of the viewer, even going so far as to ask you directly, why you are still watching? A unique tactic and one that could have misfired completely in less capable hands, potentially coming across preachy and/or hypocritical. Fortunately, this is not the case. This calling into question of YOUR apparent ethical ambiguity is the rooted center of the film and since it works, so does the rest. The final intimation, though still surprisingly disquieting, would have played much more successfully back in the days of VHS. Definitely not a movie for all tastes, but fans of the serial killer genre who are looking for something challenging and a little different will certainly want to give this a look. Remember though, this might be The Last Horror Movie for you, too. – Michael Mackie

2103: THE DEADLY WAKE
1996 – NR – 100 Minutes
D: G. Philip Jackson
S: Malcolm McDowell, Michael Pare, Heidi von Palleske, Gwynyth Walsh
DVD Provided by MPI Home Video
Fullscreen/Dolby Digital 2.0
Extras: Trailer, Photo Gallery

Just under 100 years from now, a large corporation plans a scheme for world domination. Send out an out of commissioned boat with an unsuspecting washed up captain, a crew of the criminally insane and a secret cargo of bio-chemical germ warfare called The 20 Minute Plague. The disjointed scifi adventure film throws everything into the water but the kitchen sink. The boat is loaded with bombs, people with secret agendas, a robobitch, a computer run by an embryonic super baby and a female druid first mate with special powers. McDowell (Captain) and Palleske (First Mate Druid) fare well here, but everything else just seems so out of place, and one must conclude that either director Jackson had too many ideas or wanted to set up some sort of possible television series. And that’s a shame since there are some decent ideas lost in this mess. Fans of science fiction who feel a need to see everything will want to check it out, but all else may just want to give it a pass. A shot at a mystical ending doesn’t bode well either. Let this one sink. – Mark Engle

SOLEDAD SINGS!
2007 – 43 Minutes
Produced by Amy Brown
S: Soledad Miranda, American Boyfriends, Papillon
Extras: Soledad Miranda Booklet
CD Provided by Soledad Miranda Blood Queen

21 tracks on CD featuring everyone’s favorite lesbian vampire and mod goddess Soledad Miranda. Sixteen of the tracks feature actual songs where she sings, the first eight from actual long out of print albums and the final eight directly from five of her films. As a bonus you get 5 tracks, two from other bands with songs dedicated or about Soledad, two vocal recordings of the actress speaking in Spanish and English and a track dedicated to teaching us how to pronounce her name correctly. Since her songs are so rare, this is a definite must for her fans. Not all the songs are incredible, some even kind of shaky, but hey, it is Soledad Miranda! What can I say I am a huge fan. If you love Spanish lounge or even romantic ballads sung by one of the most beautiful women to ever grace this ugly planet of ours, this comes highly recommended. – Mark Engle

NIGHTMARE SISTERS
1987 – NR – 81 Min.
D: David DeCoteau
S: Brinke Stevens, Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley
Image Entertainment DVD
Fullscreen/Dolby Digital Mono
Extras: 3 still galleries, 2 commentary tracks, Blooper and out-take reel

Filmed in only four days (and it shows), this relentlessly dull softcore misfire features Stevens, Bauer and Quigley as socially inept, over-weight, and bucktoothed (respectively) sorority sisters alone for the weekend. They invite over three equally unpopular frat nerds for a party and, after a séance goes wrong, are possessed by a lustful succubus. At least they’re all beautiful and naked now; only took forty damn minutes. The boys look on rather disaffectedly as the lascivious ladies lather each other up in the bathtub. Another triumvirate (more frat dorks) crash the party and are instantly victimized (genitals chewed off while remains turn to ash) by the demonic forces at large. The original trio looks up an all night exorcist in the phonebook, agree to pay time-and-a-half since it’s after midnight, and set out to save the girls’ souls. A gnarled and painfully immobile puppet arrives during the climax and acts annoyed. She wasn’t the only one. A few rooms and a yard make up the location list and scenes go on and on and on and on… There’s no gore or blood, but you’ll be met with many merry moments of mammary madness. If that sounds like enough for you, good, cause that’s all there is. Nightmare Sisters? Well, they got it half right, anyway. NEXT! – Michael Mackie

WEDDING SLASHERS
2006 – R – 80 Min.
D: Carlos Scott
S: Jessica Kinney – Ross Kelly – Maria Ford (Cameo) – Richard Lynch (Cameo)
DVD Courtesy of Arts Alliance America
Anamorphic Widescreen / Dolby Digital 5.1
Extras: Trailers – Deleted Scenes

Jenna (Kinney) is a woman with a lot of baggage. Every time she falls in love or even has a crush on someone they’re murdered by a bunch of degenerate hillbilly psychopaths; these are the people that make up her family. Also, she was raped by her brother at the tender age of nine, and promised to her first cousin at the age of seventeen. It’s then that she finally decided to run away and start a new, normal life. Time passes and Jenna falls in love with Alex (Kelly). He proposes and she hesitantly agrees. On the day of the wedding the relatives storm the church and slaughter everybody. Alex is spared in exchange for Jenna’s return to the family fold. The groom regains consciousness, grabs the closest blade and heads out to take back his bride. Jessica Kinney is a charismatic and attractive actress; she’s the only bright spot in this skid-mark of a flick. There’s plenty of splashy cheese-ball gore and a heapin’ helpin’ of skank nudity but who cares. The pace is so sluggish there should be a coma warning on the box. Sometimes the filmmakers seem to be striving for as offensive and trashy a film as possible; running over children, torture-killing a priest, incest, etc. Other times though, they seem to be shooting for comedy. Intentions are irrelevant since they fail on all counts. Personally, I’m just glad it’s over. Wedding Slashers is an insufferable pile of smoky backwoods bullshit and should be avoided at all costs. – Michael Mackie

HORROR BUSINESS
2005 – NR – 82 Minutes
D: Christopher P. Garetano
S. Mark Borchardt, Ron Atkins, Herschell Gordon Lewis, Sid Haig, David Stagnari, John Goras, Dave Parker
DVD Courtesy of Image Entertainment
Widescreen/Stereo

Extras: Director intro, short documentary, student film, trailer, art portfolio
This is a labor of love (two years in the making) about cinematic labors of love. Here documentarian Christopher P. Garetano focuses not on just the horror business but on the true indie horror filmmakers out there. We’re talking about micro-budgeted productions that commonly have 18 hour working days with people working for free while wearing numerous hats (some of the crew is also the cast, etc.). There are plenty of brief but informative interviews, plus a lot of cool footage from different indie projects. At one point Herschell Gordon Lewis states that modern movies have forgotten how to entertain, while Dave Parker speculates that MTV-style films have worn out their welcome and people are trying to make scary horror flicks again. What we get here are filmmakers doing the only thing they know how to do – make movies. There is a common thread among the group regarding their distaste for how Hollywood runs a closed door policy while making cooking cutter products. Basically, this documentary shows how indie filmmakers are probably closer to real life than Hollywood will ever be. I strongly recommend this one to genre fans, especially those that are involved with indie productions. – Craig Hamann

CARMA
2005 – NR – 81 Minutes
D: Ray Arthur Wang
S: Karen Black (voice), Monika Lynn, Bob May, Justin McBaine, Ray Arthur Wang
DVD Courtesy of Raw Power Productions
Widescreen/Stereo

Filmmaker Ray Arthur Wang gets the most out of SOV moviemaking with this story about an abandoned car that is haunted. The spirit is a deceased mother (the great Karen Black’s voice) who manipulates four different people in mysterious and deadly ways while she attempts to have a reunion with her murderous son. In an effort to avoid any spoilers, that’s all I will say about the plot. Wang understands his medium and does a good job for the most part. Sometimes the visuals are too dark, making them difficult to see. I hate that. But even so, there are plenty of cool images and even a few shock fright scenes. The acting is refreshingly above the norm for this kind of production and, as one would expect, that pays off big time in making the movie entertaining. The idea itself is interesting, though the screenplay often wanders too much, utilizing filler material where necessary, and the story is sort of like a dog chasing its own tail. This is a must-see for anyone into SOV cinema. – Craig Hamann

BLOOD TEA & RED STRING
D: Christiane Cegavske
2006 – NR – 71 minutes
DVD Courtesy of Cinema Epoch
Extras: Stills, trailer, commentary

It’s been a while since I’ve seen a stop-action animated picture. After viewing this one by talented Christiane Cegavske, I recalled just how much I like stop-action effects. I mean, it takes a lot of work and devotion from the filmmaker to do this kind of thing and that heartfelt dedication is certainly present in this project. Here writer/director Cegavske offers a weird but sometimes cute, darkly driven but emotionally inspired film that doesn’t provide a story as much as it lays out a series of metaphorical lessons about life. Believe it or not, somehow it all works. This is an oddly engaging and entertaining ride through a looking-glass land that is entirely unpredictable. Keep in mind that Cegavske not only wrote and directed the film but she more or less single-handedly created the animation, characters, and sets. Oh, and trust me on this, her art direction and production design is breathtaking. There might be times that the surreal imagery and offbeat ambience is almost overwhelming, so I encourage the viewer to watch the film while listening to the excellent commentary track with cinema critic Luke Y. Thompson and Cegavske (who has an extremely pleasant voice). That way you can take in all the sights and hear a fascinating narrative at the same time. – Craig Hamann

ARAF – THE ABORTION
2006 – NR – 97 Min
D: Biray Dalkiran
S: Akasya Asliturkmen, Murat Yildirim
DVD courtesy of Pathfinder Home Entertainment
Anamorphic Widescreen / Dolby Digital 2.0
Extras: Trailers – Director’s Biography – Music Video – Still Gallery

Eda (Asliturkmen) is part of an interpretive dance troupe and, though already involved in a solid relationship, is having an affair with an older married man. She finds herself pregnant and wants to get rid of the baby but it’s too late. Eda decides to get one of those discount basement abortions and after a lot of screaming and blood, it’s done. Three years later she’s back with original boyfriend Cenk, (Yildirim), married, and once again pregnant. The trouble is, the ghost of the original child is not done with Eda just yet. As a matter of fact, the aborted baby is pretty offended by this new pregnancy and it’s now that Eda’s life (and sanity) begins to completely unravel. Terrific. A low budget Turkish horror movie attempting to emulate the already redundant style of several cinematic Japanese ghost stories. Sound bad? It is. Poor lighting is an annoying problem throughout and, even so, the crappy CGI is still irritating. If the subtitles are accurate then the dialogue is some of the most bizarre and nonsensical I’ve come across in a long time. The final five minutes of this pretentious slop just begin to raise interest, but the payoff is something I’d expect from a lesser Night Gallery episode. The final insult comes during the closing credits, where you’ll hear music that sounds like Turkish Rammstein. Take a nap instead, you might anyway, just not by choice. Save a step… Skip it. – Michael Mackie

GRAYSON ARMS aka Lethal Eviction
2005 – R – 97 Minutes
D: Michael Feifer
S: Jennifer Carpenter, Judd Nelson, Stacey Dash, James Avery, Andy Martinez Jr.
DVD Screener Provided by MTI Home Video
Anamorphic Widescreen/Dolby Digital 2.0
Extras: Trailer (screener, other extras may be on final release)

A very recognizable and somewhat reliable cast go through the motions in this routine thriller. When the owner of a run down apartment building is murdered, it sets off a chain of events where someone is knocking off tenants one by one. Most of the story revolves around Carpenter who plays Tessi and Beth, twins where one is nice and sweet while the other has deep emotional problems and cuts herself. Murders range from fake overdose and burning to death to being thrown off the apartment building and impalement on deer antlers. The cast does fine, but someone needs to do something with Judd Nelson’s hair! The payoff can be seen a mile off and everything seems routine right down to the cliché characters (flamboyant transvestite, nasty old lady who complains, the party dudes, etc.), but we’ve all seen worse. Director Feifer keeps things moving and some of the deaths have cinematic style, but it isn’t enough to make it worth seeking out. Catch this one on cable on a rainy Sunday. – Mark Engle

FEED
1992 – NR – 76 Minutes
D: Kevin Rafferty & James Ridgeway
S: Bill Clinton, George Bush Sr, Hillary Clinton, Jerry Brown, Ross Perot, Pat Buchanon, Bob Kerry
DVD Provided by First Run Features
Fullscreen/Stereo
Extras: Trailers

Sometime hilarious hit and miss documentary from the folks who made the cult break through hit Atomic Café. This is mostly made up of behind the scenes film footage as politicians wait for the television spots and interviews. You get a few dirty jokes, some paranoid worries about whether their tie is on straight, snorting hose inhalers, a guy asking Clinton if he was responsible for any abortions, etc. The best is just watching Bush Sr. waiting and waiting and waiting with the dumbest looking grin on his face. While sometimes funny, it truly shows the ego and how mundane these self-serving people really are. It definitely will keep many from even thinking about running for some sort of office. It’s only too bad this wasn’t made or updated after Bush Jr. hit the political arena. The Democrats come off a little better than the Replublicans, which seems to fit the filmmaker’s agenda. Unfortunately, it isn’t as funny or interesting as Atomic Café and much of it feels repetitive after the half hour mark. Definitely worth checking out for those of us who follow the political race. All else may want to watch sitcoms instead. – Mark Engle

BASKET CASE
1982 – NR – 91 Min.
D: Frank Henenlotter
S: Kevin Van Hentenryck, Terri Susan Smith, Beverly Bonner, Belial (as himself)
Image Entertainment (Something Weird Video) DVD
Fullscreen / Dolby Digital Mono
Extras: Too numerous to mention.

Revisiting Frank Henenlotter’s delightfully demented movie for about the eighth time illustrated the following with no small degree of clarity… A classic is a classic and Basket Case settles into that category quite comfortably. Duane Bradley (Van Hentenryck) and his mutant brother Belial (ex Siamese twins) have come to New York seeking revenge against the doctors that performed the very unwelcome surgery that separated them while young. Huge complications arise when Duane falls for a receptionist working for one of the doctors. They also have to contend with insatiably nosy neighbors while staying at the Hotel Broslin. So much has been written about this through the years that it’s likely next to impossible to dig anything new out of the basket. There are moments so perversely twisted that it’s difficult to believe a black-as-midnight wit could be maintained, but it is. Henenlotter weaves (rimshot) his tale of brotherly love and loyalty masterfully and, with the possible exception of Brain Damage, hasn’t topped it yet. Mind-altering delirium from the first grunt to the last splat. Any self-respecting horror fan owes it to him/herself to see what all the fuss is about. It might not be perfect, but any arrows that can be slung won’t change the fact that Basket Case remains one of the most unique movies ever to flicker away in front of the light of a grindhouse projector. And now, thanks to DVD, it can all be yours. – Michael Mackie

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